Thursday, 19 April 2007

Why am I here???

Written 9th April

Last year I had a think of what my 'dream' would be. In my dream, I would one day meet a cool film director who happened to need staff for his hollywood blockbuster which involved a lot of travel. I would get a job oganising Brad Pitt's diary and would follow the crew around flying to Miami to film for 2 weeks, then fly to the Greek Islands for more filming and then Turkey etc etc... I wouldn't have much to do during the day after I sort out Brad's schedule so I'd just have time to travel (expenses paid for).

I then thought- why is this my dream? I concluded that the main reason is that I would get to travel around and see different things with all expenses paid. I then thought- why don't I pursue it? I didn't meet a film director although sort of encountered similar random opportunities but thought I'd do it my own way.

I believe society has shaped who I am- friends, family, school and thought it would be sort of cool to throw myself into a different city and see how I'd react to it. Not that London society won't affect me but it's more the idea of seeing who I am without the influence of those people/surroundings I've grown up with all my life.

Plus I started to feel too comfortable and complacent in Sydney and also a bit stifled as I didn't want to head in the direction that the people around me were heading- getting mortgages, spending all their time at work, settling into long term relationships... nothing inspired me anymore in Sydney! Life can't be just that!! You don't want to live your life with regrets and the dreaded 'what if?'. Right now is the right time for me with nothing tying me down.

So I quit my job and left my family and friends with a one-way ticket to London with no plans and haven't tried to make any plans just to make it more exciting. I have to admit I'm sort of addicted to testing myself, I want to push my personal boundaries and comfort zone and throw myself into this expensive city with nothing but hope.

But if there's a will, there's a way. I don't think you have to follow what society wants you to do and I think if you don't have anything major tying you down, you should go for your random silly dream and see where you end up. At least one day when you're 50 yrs old with 3 kids, big mortgage and tough job you won't go 'what if?'

5 comments:

Monica Tan said...

We are most certainly too young and too lively to commit to a life of complacency.

I'm so proud (and jealous) of your decision to step into the outside world!

Will be checking this regularly so you'd better keep it up to date : )

Anonymous said...

mel, i really admire how brave you are to do this on your own. you're such an independent girl. it's something i would also like to test myself, but unfortunately i'm "tied down" on one of those things. maybe someday i'll just forget bout what i'm doing and live life the way i want. please take care and be safe. i really miss you! x

Anonymous said...

Heya mel...

I know this is the first post, but I've gone thru and read the others alredi. I'm happy to see u living up ur random spirit again. It's a different type of courage really to be experiencing things that are not really structured. My life is structured now, but I have too left my family and frens behind to start something anew and there is not one moment of regret in it.

Having a local bf really helped me lots, so you might wanna look into that? *wink*

hehe, keep enjoying yourself gurl! I'll def b checking in every now and then...

Mel said...

hey sorry but who r u 'tyl'??

Anonymous said...

yee ling here...

hehe...shoulda known better than to use an acronym. Hey I've booked and paid my ticket to be in London for New Year's! Hope to catch you there?