Using Emotional Intelligence in the Amalfi Coast

The view from our balcony

June 2007

The Amalfi Coast was the first stop of my European travels so I use this as an excuse for my stupidity for hitchhiking with an untrustworthy stranger. I also blame it on the breathtaking views- how can one be put in a dangerous situation when you have panoramic, grandiose mountains with olive trees and vineyards sprinkled beautifully across it and an occasional quaint italian villa peeping over the cliffs? The Amalfi Coast is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to in the world.

I had walked down over 1000 steps by myself to explore a little cove that I spotted from our villa and spent the day floating in crystal clear water. I had to go back up the mountain to Pogerola but unfortunately the bus was running on 'Italian time' and didn't come.

So this combined with me being absorbed by the beauty of the place was why I said "Yes" when an Italian guy drove past on his scooter and offered me a lift up the mountain.

Now these mountains are dangerous - you constantly hear honking as that's the only way to let other cars know that you're coming around the corner so you don't smash into each other.

While I was thinking, "Hah! I wonder what everyone in Sydney is doing now compared to this!", the Italian stopped in the middle of no where.

"I am just stopping for a smoke," said the guy in his Italian accent. I panicked internally.

"O-okay", I said as I quickly looked around for other people.

He puffed his cigarette slowly, eyeing me the whole time.

This was when my emotional intelligence started to kick in. Being in Unilever's Futures Leaders Program meant we got a lot of training on soft skills such as EI. We got tested on our EQ (a measure of EI) as opposed to our IQ and really learnt how to use our emotions to manage and influence other people.

My first reaction was to panic but luckily he didn't see it as that would've meant he knew he had power over me. After the initial panic, I controlled my emotions and tried to think strategically on what I should do. I could either run away down a path that I found when scanning the area with my eyes (and reassured myself that I used to be amongst the best sprinters and hurdlers at school) or stay in the situation and deal with it with the outcome that I wanted.

The Italian grabbed my hand, then smiled, and said, "Will you give me a kiss?".

Immediate repulsion! But I contained myself and laughed smilingly and lied, "Oh no... I can't. I have a boyfriend."

"I have a girlfriend too. She lives in Positano. But we are in Pogerola now. Different place," he insisted. (Soooo Italian).

This conversation went on for a bit longer and there was a point where he looked a bit angry as from his point of view, he had driven me up the mountain and deserved something in return.

Feeling really scared (but not showing it on my face), I rejected him in a friendly, playful way to not harm his ego and in the end, he actually drove me all the way to Pogerola, dropped me off and left without saying anything.

Although we learnt how to use our emotional intelligence in the workplace, the course also helped me work out how to manage my own emotions and be conscious of how I deal with other people socially. Having strong EQ in the workplace is said to lead to more open communication with subordinates, resolve conflicts with win-win situations, and make you more successful with coping with environmental demands.